It's me, Hi.

Hi Roxie,

Sorry to hear what has happened.

For me, with the death of my sister and more recently my partner, I can say it does get easier. Mindfulness, diary writing, exercise and therapy all help me.

I found a self help book with tasks in (I wish I could remember what it was called). I had to make a lot of lists and vist places (places of work, dating spots, hospital, crematoriums etc) and it worked wonders - I liked wading through and ticking sections off!

For me, I transitioned through various stages and I am in a happier and more contented place. I'm not sure if 'it' ever leaves you though, it changes and you grow around it.

Sorry all of the above is about my experiences but I don't really know what else to say apart from reaching out and say you are not alone

hugs xx

Hey Roxie; that is so sad and my condolences to you. It will take as long as it takes. It gets easier but you will never forget.

Sorry for your loss Roxie, some really wise words of wisdom above and I hope you find a little comfort in them. I'm glad you've "reached out" to the forum (I hate that expression!) and please know that we're here if you want to chat or just escape into another world for a few hours x

Welcome back, Roxie. So sorry to hear about your dear mum.

So sorry for your loss.Everyone grieves in different ways and goes through the process in their own way. I am sure at the moment it seems so raw and that there is so much to deal with. Try and take some time out for yourself and don't beat yourself up about your feelings.My partner lost his dad a while ago and dealing with the whole process with him made me realise what it will be like when it happens to me.
Take care of yourself and remember you are not alone.

Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate your words.

I'm finding it very hard because my Dad has very very early stage Alzhiemers so I'm now worried about what happens to him in the future. At the moment, he's OK, he can drive, he has capacity, it's just he forgets conversations we've just had or where he's put things. He's not very competent at housework just because he's never had to do it. My brother keeps telling me I'm Dad's carer now and I need to do this, this and this. He just comes round, throws his orders round, criticises me and then leaves without actually giving me any help.

I feel aggrieved cos Dad doesn't need a carer yet, the memory clinic have said he will go on as he is for years, and if and when he does, it's not me. I have to live my own life, and my Dad needs to be encouraged to be as independent as possible for as long as possible.

So yeah, things are really hard at the min. I'm trying to book some things to look forward to, maybe another London theatre trip.

Thanks everyone xx

I'm so very sorry for your loss, it must be terrible. Meditation was of great help to me when I was going through an abusive relationship. I know it's not for everyone and what you are going trough is also different to what I went through, but it really saved me when I had nobody to talk to and felt like there was no escape. It also helped when I lost my grandmothers in the last two years. I was very close to them and I still remember conversations we had, and sometimes I day dream of things one of them might have said or done in certain situations.
I carve some time every day to meditate and it helps me to feel grounded and to accept changes, small or big, in life. I use an app called Calm. There are also targeted meditation programmes for grief and loss.

Hi, cos the universe thinks I’ve not been through enough lately, Saturday I ended up in A&E in intense pain and unable to pass urine and it turns out I have a massive endometrial cyst so I’m languishing in hospital worried it’s cancer (even though the surgeon said I ‘I doubt it’) and facing surgery and a recovery period, more time off work sick, wondering how I look after my dad, super scared and I just want my mum!

And of course, this happens the morning after I booked a train and theatre tickets to see 2.22 a ghost story on 15th April! Think I can write that off!

Oh Roxie, so sorry for you! I hope the operation goes well. Will be thinking of you x

You are certainly going through it at the moment. First priority hope all goes well with you and your operation and that you recover quickly. It may force some one else to look after your dad but I'm sure it will get sorted. Try not to worry and just concentrate on getting well after your treatment. Take care of yourself.

Oh Roxie, so sorry for your luck and what has happened after the last few months. A lot happening in your life right now, if it does help please do keep talking to your theatre friends on the board.

I'm not sure about 'easier' but the loss does get more distant. I dream about my mom and dad frequently (I lost them within 3 months of each other, about 15 years ago) and when I do dream I wake up feeling comforted by spending time with them again. Although when I can't sleep, I end up apologizing to them in absentia for taking them for granted, for stupid things I said, for underestimating them...


This might be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's very targeted and very practical; this might be one specifically on grieving and loss.