Stink

Why can't people form multi-sentence paragraphs?

I am sure you would

I gave them a mint sweet

And sprayed myself with

Aesop tacit

Accidentally

Some went on them

I shall keep the supplies with me at all times

At those prices, none would be going accidentally anywhere, I can assure you.

We joined a local cinema club a few years ago, and as part of the promotion you got to see every film they showed in one season. We opted for the same seats for every screening. At the first film, despite the cinema being almost empty, we found ourselves sitting right next to another couple so we moved along one seat to give ourselves a bit more room. After a couple of minutes, Annas and I did that screwing up your nose type thingy you do when you can both smell a smell, and it kind of ruined the film for us because we couldn’t get the smell out of our noses. The smell was fishnchips. This is a nice smell when you are eating it, but horrid at any other time. Coincidentally, the next time we went to a film we found ourselves sitting right next to the same couple as before but this time we couldn’t move along as it was a more popular film. Unfortunately we could smell the fishnchips smell again. We tried breathing through our mouths but to no avail... Another film ruined. The third time... you guessed it. So we quickly ran down to the box office and explained our delicate situation. We began, “We bet you’ve never had this one before...” and the lovely box office lady hadn’t but she moved us for the rest of the season.

I agree, a smell can ruin a show!

Oh, that was you! I wondered why you moved from being right next to me to being directly opposite... Didn't you see me waving?

Thank you for your note re my avatar- it's supposed to be a b/w photograph of the Palace Theatre when Superstar was resident there... I wonder if others just see the question mark in the square? Will change it! Oh, and I thought In The Heights was dire too. (The reason I haven't bothered booking for You Know What at the You Know Where that hasn't been built yet.)

When I remember to, I take a small pot of tiger balm with me to combat Public Stink scenarios including Event Stench. This was the result of a series of such situations culminating in a concert at which Mrs Backdrifter was next to a BO Man who was also a High Clapper.

It’s a kind of very strong/hot vaseline-type gunk that you are meant to apply to your temples when you have a headache. (I have no idea how it combats smells...) I made the mistake once of applying some aforementioned gunk to my temples and then visiting the little boys’ room. OMG!!!!!! Never again.

www.tigerbalm.com/system/images/2046/original/tiger-balm-extra2.png?1410142980

Chuckling I was not... I had to go searching for an ice pack. Then I remembered we don’t have an ice pack.

I’ve never been so pleased to see a packet of frozen peas.

Bl**dy h*ll, the lack of compassion, and level of passive agressive self-centredness here is just ridiculous.

Yep, we've all been out when something around us puts us off what we're there to see. Someone might smell funny/bad, or have an annoying tic, or breathe too loudly or whatever.

But guess what? these things are mostly subjective. You might think someone stinks, but that toilet water you've slathered over yourself might not be all that sweet to your neighbour either. They might be doing that annoying tapping of their arm, but your watch clicking each second that you no longer notice might completely throw other people's concentration.

Furthermore -believe it or not- not everyone can help these things, and characterizing everyone who smells simply as 'can't be bothered to shower' shows a complete lack of compassion. As though there couldn't be any reason for people to be like they are other than to annoy you. Lord knows no-one we would hang around with might go through a rough patch, or no longer be able to look after themselves to quite the standard that we would like. Don't get me wrong, it's frustrating when these things throw off a lovely night out, but I very much doubt everyone who you deem to be an assault on your senses is simply being so because they can't be bothered.

And rather than dealing with things in a friendly and up-front manner, better to passively agressively spray them and then slink off onto the internet to bit*h anonymously to others. The height of compassionate, adult behaviour!

edits: no idea what the board rules are on language

Sure, I might smell terribly. Or I might be able to feel compassion for people who aren't me. It's probably one of the two.

I've certainly had instances where the person sitting near me might be slightly smelly, or a bit too large on their seat, or breathing too loudly, or whatever. But I think there are nicer ways of dealing with it than muttering under my breath and then moaning later on in the school playground.

The person who whiffs might be sat next to the person eating crisps.
The person eating crisps might be next to the pissed up lager drinker.
The lager drinker might be next to the large person.
The large person might be next to the inappropriate giggler.
The inappropriate giggler might be next to the tall leg-spreader.
The leg spreader might be next to the programmer fanner.
The programme fanner might be next to the texter....

Ive chatted with perfectly nice people next to me whose breath was enough to knock an elephant unconscious.  

Few are completely innocent. And you, yes you.... youre probably not either!