Post by hulmeman on May 6, 2017 6:32:11 GMT
Readers will recall my recent post about being unfairly rejected for the role of Cilla this week, now I have had another rejection. It seems the voters of Greater Manchester did not want me to be their Metro mayor. I invited voters to exercise their franchise over me but no one took up my invite. I am distressed to say the least. To add insult to injury, the counting man said I'd lost my deposit. I told him it had happened before when I couldn't make it to Ibiza with the Salford Ladies Against Gays (S.L.A.G'S) annual retreat in San Antonio.
My appeal to the electorate was simple. I pointed out how gorgeous I would look with that huge necklace round my neck and that tricorn hat at a jaunty angle. I promised to make the metro system in Manchester better by painting the trams a lovely shade of pink and to follow on from "same sex marriage" I would allow "same family marriages" to save the embarrassment of people in Duckenfield. (they don't get out much). There would be free whippet training for people in Bolton and I would make pie eating mandatory in Wigan. Education would be my priority with "Wicked" being a set book for English. (I've seen it three times and still can't make top or tail of it). Musical Theatre would be a core subject with a new 'o' level in Lord Weberism, and a new Mathematics curriculum designed by Dame Diane Abbot. (It seems voters put two and two together on this and eventually got seven).
I even promised strong and stable government, but I was told that people were fed up of hearing that.
Where, or where did I go wrong, perhaps you can advise me.......
My appeal to the electorate was simple. I pointed out how gorgeous I would look with that huge necklace round my neck and that tricorn hat at a jaunty angle. I promised to make the metro system in Manchester better by painting the trams a lovely shade of pink and to follow on from "same sex marriage" I would allow "same family marriages" to save the embarrassment of people in Duckenfield. (they don't get out much). There would be free whippet training for people in Bolton and I would make pie eating mandatory in Wigan. Education would be my priority with "Wicked" being a set book for English. (I've seen it three times and still can't make top or tail of it). Musical Theatre would be a core subject with a new 'o' level in Lord Weberism, and a new Mathematics curriculum designed by Dame Diane Abbot. (It seems voters put two and two together on this and eventually got seven).
I even promised strong and stable government, but I was told that people were fed up of hearing that.
Where, or where did I go wrong, perhaps you can advise me.......
