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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2019 21:59:01 GMT
In a parallel universe a group of pioneering producers are about to mount a brand new production of TheatreBoard - The Musical!But they have not yet released a synopsis or casting information, so we must fill in the blanks... In this alternate reality, who plays you? Or are you part of the creative team? I'd probably be taking more of a musically creative role. Given my track record of attempts at success on a smaller scale and people's love-it-or-hate-it reception of myself, perhaps I'd be a SerialSondheim. We all know the role of @ryan would be played by Patti LuPone. Whilst @emicardiff would be contributing to the dramaturgy ala Marianne Elliot. Not having met him I'm blind-casting but maybe we'd see BurlyBeaR played by Brian Blessed. Or maybe not?
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6,306 posts
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Post by Jon on Mar 17, 2019 22:46:16 GMT
I can envision @ryan doing a tap dancing number with Jonny Bailey and Hadley Fraser.
@theatremonkey.com would be the producer in the mould of Scott Rudin or Cameron Mackintosh.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2019 23:39:38 GMT
I'm sure @ryan would love to be tapped by Bailey and Fraser...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2019 23:41:28 GMT
There needs to be a whole plot line about the crazy fans of shows and how poor little aingidh got caught in the middle of all of it.
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466 posts
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Post by Deal J on Mar 17, 2019 23:46:08 GMT
Will there be an “origin story” reference to WOS...?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 0:01:57 GMT
Will there be an “origin story” reference to WOS...? Prologue. Into Overture: "Whats on [the] Stage, tonight?"
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6,306 posts
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Post by Jon on Mar 18, 2019 0:09:38 GMT
'Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand Moments so dear Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes How do many times did I see (insert show here) in a year?'
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466 posts
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Post by Deal J on Mar 18, 2019 0:12:18 GMT
TheatreBoard! TheatreBoard! How to win an Olivier Award?
Who’s in the cast? Who will direct? No, not them... I have to object!
Is there a dog? What height is the stage? Dayseats? No! That fills me with rage!
I loved the cast You really should go But oh my word Bad behaviour at a show!
Some sang along Some played with their phone Some kept quiet Not Patti LuPone!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 0:14:43 GMT
Well... We have found our TIM RICE! Welcome to the creatives Deal J
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6,306 posts
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Post by Jon on Mar 18, 2019 0:20:32 GMT
God I hope see it, (I hope I see it.) How many tickets are there please, (how many tickets are there please) God I hope it I get it (I hope I get it) How long is booking going to be (how long is booking going to be) Look at all the people, (at all the people)
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 0:23:22 GMT
The real question is, who gets the 11 o'clock number? *cues fights*
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3,472 posts
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Post by showgirl on Mar 18, 2019 4:55:07 GMT
Hope I wouldn't want to leave at the interval...
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297 posts
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Post by bengal73 on Mar 18, 2019 7:57:41 GMT
As it'll clearly be a full on spectacle that will fill the palladium for many a year I will take charge of lighting and pyro
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18,800 posts
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Post by BurlyBeaR on Mar 18, 2019 8:05:47 GMT
maybe we'd see BurlyBeaR played by Brian Blessed. Or maybe not? Im about 40 years younger than him cheeky! (And much better looking 😬)
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Post by oxfordsimon on Mar 18, 2019 8:19:13 GMT
I would quite like a comic number talking about Eurovision, Drag Race, Bake Off and other TV shows please...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 8:28:26 GMT
The real question is, who gets the 11 o'clock number? *cues fights* Move bitch, this my song!
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Post by oxfordsimon on Mar 18, 2019 17:38:48 GMT
Good shows and bad shows, I've seen them all And, my dear, I'm still here
....
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5,585 posts
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Post by lynette on Mar 18, 2019 18:06:41 GMT
Loving this 🍸
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Post by oxfordsimon on Mar 18, 2019 18:14:14 GMT
I've gotten through Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber Gee, that was fun and a half When you've been through Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber Anything else is a laugh
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540 posts
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Post by freckles on Mar 18, 2019 19:35:29 GMT
We’re a special kind of people: TheatreBoard people We live in a world of our own Our days are tied to forums We post and we quote Observe every move Critique every note.
We can’t picture being anything but Board people Civilians find the whole thing quite bizarre But that hop in our hearts When the overture starts Helps us know how lucky we are.
It’s a minefield at all times to be a Board member The mods get all officious and we’re gone In the last closed down thread We regret what we said But we know TheatreBoard must go on...
And on...
And on...
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6,306 posts
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Post by Jon on Mar 18, 2019 23:46:23 GMT
I close my eyes, drew back the curtain, to see for certain, what I have to do. Not so far away, Jonny Bailey is greeting I'm there for a er..meeting Any Scheme will Do
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455 posts
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Post by mistressjojo on Mar 19, 2019 5:09:51 GMT
Quiet please, there's a lady on stage And your chatting and texting may put her In a rage. Don't rattle your ice, or play with your phone She might just do a Lupone
Quit please, there's an actor up there Even if we can't see him through your towering hair Don't arrive late, or bring smelly food. Unless you want to get boo-ed.
So put your hands together - at the end of the play -not every time someone comes on stage ffs! Keep your whistles and whooping for another day. Stand for the ovation If you feel it deserves it and not just to make a dash for the station.
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466 posts
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Post by Deal J on Mar 19, 2019 8:20:16 GMT
Damn their warnings, Damn their lies... "Waitress" has run out of pies!
-
I am agog, I am aghast... has Joseph really not been cast? I expected word from Bam-ig-boyyyyye
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Post by oxfordsimon on Mar 19, 2019 8:51:25 GMT
Once in every year There comes a show like that It starts off with a tour And ends up falling flat
Oh is this the show that fails like that?
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540 posts
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Post by freckles on Mar 19, 2019 12:16:27 GMT
Oh, this is going to be brilliant! Which theatre are we looking at and will there be day seats and/or a lottery?
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2,389 posts
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Post by peggs on Mar 19, 2019 12:21:29 GMT
Oh, this is going to be brilliant! Which theatre are we looking at and will there be day seats and/or a lottery? As long as it's not a ballot!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2019 13:54:26 GMT
Oh, this is going to be brilliant! Which theatre are we looking at and will there be day seats and/or a lottery? All of them! Each scene plays in a different theatre and the audience have to walk between theatres. That way Parsley will be able to walk out of every scene half way through!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2019 13:55:40 GMT
Tickets will be free but they will be hidden in the handbags of the rich and famous. Only those daring and skilful enough will be able acquire tickets undetected.
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2,747 posts
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Post by ceebee on Mar 19, 2019 14:39:29 GMT
THEATREBREXIT
One more show Another day, another Theatreboard. This never-ending show will beat the Lord, And Mackintosh and Bill Kenwright, We'll make their shows look really shi e One more show. One more day to have another vote, Should they sink or should they stay afloat? Someone mount this damned production, Even though the plot is slow. One more show. One more show before the storm. After Brexit we'll be gawn. At the barricades of freedom Shall we join our brothers there? When our ranks begin to form Do we stay and do we dare? Will you take your part with me? The time is now, the show is here... One more show. Someone start the revolution Spin the stage and set the props Borrow lines from other stageshows So we can't end up as flops. We'll be ready for school parties They will watch us all forever. OAP's will ooh and aah, They'll be wetting in their TEVA's. Watch 'em run away Catch 'em as they go Never know your luck When there's a free stage show. Here's a little Webber. There's a little Shakey. Nothing lasts forever. 'Specially when your audience is flakey. One show to a new beginning Raise the curtain to the sky There's a new song that we're singing. Join in if you are not shy. (Do you hear the people sing?) I am the star: I'll fight with you One day more I did not sing until today (we all told you you're tone deaf) We will follow your lead note We will learn your part in case (it goes to a people's vote) I will know the the whole damn show (one show more) Brexit seems so far away, Ten days until the judgement day Tomorrow seems so far away Tomorrow is the judgement day Tomorrow we'll discover What our PM in Downing Street has in store One more vote One more try One May bore.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2019 18:36:28 GMT
On the TheatreBoard, always posting in The Wicked thread and I've never even been 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping my reply Posting on the TheatreBoard! I try to speak, but someone shoots me down So I wait around hoping new threads can be found While I'm watch, watch, watching people post Posting on the TheatreBoard, oh, Can anybody see, is anyone replying back at me?
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