Bat out of Hell - Oberhausen

Not even Willemijn gets me to sit through the German production, even if I knew for sure she'd be on.

Because it's

Well, to each their own taste. I couldn't stand David Arnsperger as Krolock, he looked like a bad Meatloaf tribute and had zero charisma.

So far it's:

16 tot en met 18 mei 2019 Martiniplaza Groningen
22 tot en met 26 mei 2019 in Chassé theater in Breda
29 mei 2019 in Theater de Spiegel in Zwolle
30 mei tot en met 2 juni 2019 in het Luxor theater
5 juni 2019 in de Goudse Schouwburg
7 tot en met 9 juni 2019 Theater Orpheus Apeldoorn
11 tot en met 16 juni 2019 in Parkstad Limburg Theaters Heerlen

So I think you might be safe until late March, I guess, until they start rehearsals some time in April. Other tour dates might still be added. Who knows if Bat even runs that long

Good luck. I'm planning to see the Dutch concert tour actually, so maybe Willemijn will treat me/us to the English version of "What part of my body hurts the most" so I get to hear her live.

Well, the reviews have been surprisingly good so far, but then local papers rarely diss "their" productions. Since they approve of the godawful German translations I can't take them seriously anyway, but if it sells a few tickets, fair game to them.

Willemijn and Alex (Sloane + Falco) are not surprisingly scooping up all the praise. Can't wait to see what I'll make of this.

It would only figure that the biggest star is already missing some of the first weekends when her fans can travel from further away to see her. It's typical for Stage Entertainment, so I wouldn't be surprised if she's out 24 + 25 Nov for all four weekend performances. But who knows, maybe it's only the Tue and Wed after all. This at least makes me vaguely hopeful that she'll be on when I see the show this coming Thursday.

I can't for the life of me imagine that Robin Reitsma will do all four weekend performances either, considering the London Strat has an alternate without even doing four shows in two days, but of course Stage isn't able to publish a "Strat Schedule" the way London does for all who are keen to see the actual lead guy.

Robin is doing 6 shows a week I think-but seen no schedule at all! Apparently, they have no programmes yet either....

Alright, you have been waiting for this, so fasten your seat belts, because here comes the rant.

Let's begin with the positives, few as they are. The German version is pretty much identical to the London version minus a few bits I'll get to. Stage Entertainment hardly scrimped on the sets, but the ensemble is smaller which makes the stage look a bit empty in the bigger numbers like Dead Ringer for Love. Not sure about the band as I couldn't see them. The sound was okay, but not loud enough for my liking - I like the massive rock'n'roll feeling in London that engulfs you as soon as the first bars start.

I was lucky in the typical Stage Cast Roulette and saw almost all first casts except Sarah Kornfeld (Raven) who has been out since the previews and who knows if she'll even be back. Maureen Mac Gillavry was rather dire and the low point of the leads, screeching her way through her big songs and I can't accept the argument that "she's just the understudy" because Georgia Carling is just as brilliant as Christina Bennington and anyway, understudies SHOULD be a match for the first cast or at least come close to them. At least Alex Melcher (Falco) and Willemijn Verkaik (Sloane) were as fantastic as I had expected of them. As for Robin Reitsma, well, I didn't expect a Dutch Andrew Polec and didn't get one, but he was decent enough (I liked him better than Jordan anyway). I don't blame him for "Bat out of Hell" being a mess because even Andrew would not be able to polish this German turd into a great rock number. "For crying out loud" was awful though, with both Robin and Maureen unable to hit the big notes and screeching their way through it like karaoke night at a Spanish holiday resort. If only I had the bucket of sangria to go with that.

So, the big issue: As I had expected, it doesn't work at all in German. It's not the right sound and the translation is absolutely awful, often forcing people to sing nonsense that no German speaker would say. I so often got the sense that the performers felt like shackles had been lifted as soon as they could sing a few lines in English, most notably Aisata Blackman as Zahara. When she started "Two out of three" in German, I was thinking, oh God, that girl is awful, who cast her, until she got to the last chorus, where she switched to English and suddenly sounded nearly Danielle-levels of fabulous. Another painful example was "It's all coming back to me now", which started awful in German until all four sang the last part in English and suddenly there was this glorious uplifting feeling that power ballad gives me in London when they all sing their hearts out and the music transports you.

These bits in English were even more painful than doing everything in German because it kept reminding me of what could have been. And of course the biggest irony is that they claim to have translated it because "the German audience wants to understand what's being sung on stage" and then as per usual cast mostly foreigners whose heavily accentuated German can't be understood half the time anyway. With six out of nine bigger parts being played by Dutch people, why don't we just play in Dutch anyway? Don't get me wrong, I like our neighbours, but how is it even possible that a country of roughly 17 million inhabitants needs to supply a country of +80 milliom inhabitants with a steady stream of performers? Where is our own talent and why can't we nurture and support it?

So, let me try to remember what's different from London/what's the same:

The opening monologue is done by Raven instead of Strat, which makes no sense whatsoever. How can the mollycoddled princess in the tower look back on such a rock'n'roll past? It also means we get two Ravens when "All revved up" starts - the real one still on stage and a decoy we only see from the back in her bedroom with Sloane. How is the audience even supposed to make sense of it? And of course we get no introduction at all to what's meant to be our leading man this way.

The following songs are pretty much the same as in London. In "Paradise by the dashboard light" the footage was changed from American baseball to old German football footage, which might amuse the odd person but also makes no sense considering we're supposed to be in New York. A warning: While the car goes down a bit deeper than in London, do not sit on the right side of the first few rows in the central section, it will still hamper your view. We were just about central enough to look past it.

In "Bat out of Hell" they had scrimped on the effects - the motorbike doesn't explode into several small physical bits on stage, it's just a projection in the background. Doesn't matter really though, because this legendary rock song translated into godawful German (no "like a shadow so fast" is NOT an expression anyone would ever use, argh) was the biggest let down of the evening anyway and also at least two sizes too big for young Robin. He might get there, given a few months and the chance to perform this in English, but again, it's no excuse really, as Andrew rocked my socks off in the very first weeks in Manchester and didn't need months to get into it. (That said, my Mom commented in the interval "hey, that Dutch kid is doing a really good job" and while I replied "um, no, Mom, imagine that song done with about ten times as much energy and a kick-ass rock voice in English and you get there" it probably works better for those who have no comparison).

Second act also pretty much like in London. Alex doesn't manage (yet?) to whack the doll's head in mid-air baseball-style but whacks it from the ground like a golf ball. Not a big deal, just amusing, because I always wonder how long it took Rob Fowler to master that little bit.


Surprisingly there was even a pool into which Falco jumps at the end. For the nitpickers: He even keeps the scar here (perhaps because Alex unlike Rob isn't wigged?).

So in conclusion: If you go and see this without knowing much German just to see it again after London closes, you might be okay because you won't realize how awful the translation is. But it's not just that, I really feel that many of the performers are hampered by it and don't sound as good as they could. Quality-wise most are up there with the current London cast, though I don't know how they can solve their Raven problem. For me, personally, it wasn't a disappointment, because I had gone in with the very lowest expectations, so I merely found them confirmed. I don't mind going just to have seen this version and cast.

Should Stage Entertainment ever heed the many complaints on their social media on the German translation and offer 1-2 performances per week in English, I would give the cast another chance to show what can do. But as it it, Stage proved to me once more that whatever show they lay their hands on, they manage to turn into a big steaming pile of poo that's certainly not worth the sky-high prices they charge. Me, I look forward to seeing it in London once or twice more before it ends and pray for the miracle that the New York run will indeed happen.

It seems like the everlasting Tanz der Vampire will be replacing Bat out of Hell in Oberhausen in October for a 5-month engagement.

www.stage-entertainment.de/musicals-shows/tanz-der-vampire-oberhausen.html