Leona Lewis is leaving Broadway's Cats musical

I mean, a script is more than just the dialogue. It's the order of the scenes, it's suggested directions, it's setting, it's structure, it's placing particular characters in particular scenes...

If they had the cats try to jump on things, fail, and then look around with an expression of "I meant to do that. Want to see it again?" then they'd be on to a winner.

If there was one near me I'd never leave.

Animals are cool. I frequently have lunch in pubs, and I love it when there are resident dogs or cats. If I could find a pub that had resident antelopes then that would be ideal, but they're not as common as you'd think.

My ambition is to buy somewhere that used to keep bees to make honey, reopen it as a cafe named "The Apiary", and keep apes round the back. Then when people think they're being clever by coming in to The Apiary and asking if they can see the apes I'll take the wind out of their sails by saying "Yes, of course". Then I'll let my apes kill them, because who wouldn't?

I'm happy to rent out our cat 'Buffy' who delivers a rolling monologue in a slightly 'Brummie' accent to the days goings on. I must warn you though she doesn't hold back and will only eat 'a fine flake' wet food or the pricier dried foods. I don't know if she still does it when the wife and I aren't there so can't guarantee similar interaction, but just think about the worst things anyone could say to you or cast the worst possible judgement on something or someone, and she's ya gal! Reasonable daily rates available; renter collects.

Who'll take over from her in School of Rock?

I wonder if she got a call from Noel Edmonds.